Bridges

In life I search for a career or a job. People call it their "future".
I simply see it as a bridge, a point to jump from and end your present, betray your past.
There are many bridges in this life, we walk up to many and look over the edge, but wind up recoiling at what we see in the distance.
We all know in our greatest uncertainty what we want....don't we?
Maybe that is just it, what do I want?
I ask myself this often, usually while facing death in the distance and realizing, "not this one" yet again.
But that is just it, at what point do I stop saying not this one? Have I had that luxury to begin with? Did I not stand upon the right bridge already, yet faltered in the face of commitment?
Too late to know for sure.
All I know for certain now, is my search continues, ever more pressure to find that one true bridge.
I stand and ponder yet another bridge and someone plays Van Halen in the background.
Perhaps my fate is to be the wanderer or maybe I am to just settle. Either way, I lose.
I have never been a gracious loser, so wander I must.
My search, my fate, my bridge.