words thrown from a moving thought.......

Every time, in this life, that a relationships lease expires on this earth, it feels like we lose a piece of our heart. How many times can we have this happen with no ill effects? Afterall, if we have something hit us in the face every so often we learn to block it, so what is to stop us from closing off our hearts? And if that happens, how does that impact us? Or society? I say society because is we stop feeling , we most likely stop caring at some point and then what? NOTHING, that is what. Nothing happens, literally.

How do we safeguard our hearts from pain? Honestly we can't, people try and the best that happens is they never experience happiness, because they are always on the lookout for pain. If you are always looking out for pain, how will you see or experience the happiness that comes along more frequently?

Really, who knows why I am writing this. Yes, againI am using this poor defenseless blog to contain the burden of my mind, but I find what they say about gas to be true for thought as well...."better out than in".

So, where was I? Oh yes, random thought brandished as eloquently as a sword in the hands of a drunkard simpleton, yet not nearly as effective.

As we lose pieces of our heart, we tend to become less feeling or more hardened to things. I know for certain that my heart and mind are not as compassionate as they were when I was a child, but since then I have experienced great loss and varying other plagues of humanity. Each person, with whom I have a close and loving relationship, is/was what keeps me in this world and enjoying it. However, as each of these people moves on to Park Place, in their journey to Boardwalk, I become more aware that I still stand firmly on Baltic Avenue! Therefore, I feel less and less in touch with anything in this world, as the things that matter to me prepare to leave it.
Let's face it, there is a point when Earth suddenly just begins to feel like a waiting room and for some reason, despite all the people leaving the room, it becomes more and more crowded....usually with ill-behaved children!

I guess until I stand stand face to face with God and actually ask him " What was THAT all about?!" , all I can do is vent and try to figure things out enough to continue on, just like the rest of us, but at least I can take comfort in my family and friends. Hopefully when I am gone their heart will mend with greater ease than mine.